Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a complex developmental condition that affects how children interact, communicate, and learn. While each child with autism is unique, understanding the common characteristics, early signs, and strategies for support can make a significant difference in their development. In this post, we’ll walk through key aspects of autism in children, break down how it impacts daily life, and share strategies and support for children with autism that can help them thrive. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, or teacher, we’re all in this together, striving to give our children the support they need to flourish.
My Journey with Autism
I have a deep understanding of this topic because I’m raising a child with autism. My son, Elijah, who is seven, is on the spectrum, and navigating his world has given me firsthand insight into both the challenges and the incredible strengths that come with it. While autism is a spectrum and affects each child differently, one thing is universal: children with an autism diagnosis experience the world in a unique way.
Recognizing the early signs, understanding the autism diagnosis process, and creating a supportive environment are crucial for helping our little ones succeed. In this article, I’ll explore practical insights for parents, caregivers, and educators on how to support children with autism in ways that promote confidence, foster growth, and help them live fulfilling lives.
What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)?
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder that affects how a child communicates, interacts with others, and behaves. The term “spectrum” refers to the wide range of symptoms and abilities it encompasses. Each child with an autism diagnosis experiences the world in their own way, and they may face challenges in different areas, such as social interaction, communication, sensory processing, or engaging in repetitive behaviors.
For example, my son Elijah, who had his autism diagnosis at 3 years old, struggles with social interactions and verbal communication. Yet, he could recite the alphabet as a one-year-old, count to over 100 at two, and was reading by the age of three. It was fascinating to see how he could master things like reading and counting early on, while at the same time struggling to carry on a simple conversation or express his needs.
Signs of Autism in Children: What to Look For
Although every child develops at their own pace, there are common signs of autism in children that parents and caregivers may notice as early as 18 months. These signs can vary, but often include:
- Delayed speech or difficulty with verbal communication – Communication challenges may be a child’s first sign, such as speaking later than peers or having trouble forming sentences.
- Challenges in forming social connections – A child may struggle to make eye contact, initiate conversations, or understand social cues.
- Repetitive behaviors – These might include hand-flapping, rocking, or lining up toys in a specific order.
- Heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli – Many children with autism may be oversensitive to sounds, lights, or certain textures.
It’s important to note that not every child who exhibits these behaviors has autism, and some children may display only a few of these signs. However, if several of these signs are present, it may be worth discussing with a pediatrician for a more thorough evaluation. Recognizing the signs of autism is the first step in seeking a diagnosis and accessing early interventions that can make a huge difference.
The CDC is an excellent resource for finding more in-depth information surrounding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). You can check out their publication, “About Autism Spectrum Disorder” to find out more information.
Diagnosis & Early intervention for autism
Autism is diagnosed through behavioral assessments conducted by developmental pediatricians, psychologists, or specialized teams of professionals. I vividly remember the days leading up to Elijah’s evaluation. At the time, I had a feeling he might be on the spectrum, but like many parents, I struggled with denial. I was nervous and anxious on the day of his appointment, but I knew in my heart that whatever the outcome, I was committed to ensuring Elijah received the support he needed.
Research consistently shows that the earlier a child is diagnosed with autism, the sooner they can begin receiving therapies and support. This is crucial because early intervention can make a significant difference in a child’s development and overall quality of life. As a parent, I’ve seen firsthand how much Elijah’s development has improved thanks to the early interventions we pursued. The therapies, support systems, and tailored educational strategies have truly helped him make tremendous strides in his daily routines, and I am so grateful that we received Elijah’s autism diagnosis early and were able to take action while he was very young.
How Autism Impacts Daily Life
Communication Challenges in Children with Autism
For many children with autism, communication can be one of the most significant hurdles. This might include limited verbal skills or difficulty understanding and using social language. Personally, this was one of the hardest aspects for me and my husband to navigate with Elijah.
Early on, we often struggled to determine what he truly understood, especially when teaching him what was acceptable behavior. Was he hearing us and processing the message, or was he simply not responding? He had difficulty interpreting our social cues, such as tone of voice or facial expressions—tools we rely on heavily as parents to communicate lessons about right and wrong.
Over time, we realized that while Elijah may not respond in the ways we expected, he was absorbing everything we said. One of the most challenging periods came when Elijah was 3 to 4 years old. He developed a unique way of communicating through letters and numbers. For example, if he wanted something to drink, he might say “ABC.” This led to many moments of frustration as we tried to decipher his needs.
Slowly but surely, we began to decode his communication style, recognizing patterns and building our understanding. Over time, he transitioned from using letters to colors and eventually to naming objects outright.
Autism communication strategies
For non-verbal children with autism, alternative forms of communication—like sign language, communication boards, or assistive technology—are often invaluable. Elijah’s speech therapist attempted to introduce these methods, but with only one hour-long session per week, progress was limited. Elijah’s attention span at the time made it difficult for him to engage fully in learning sign language or using a speech device. I vividly remember advocating for a more functional use of his spoken words, as he already had an extensive vocabulary. However, his therapist once remarked, “Yes, he says a lot of words, but those words don’t count because he doesn’t use them functionally.” That statement hurt deeply as a parent. To me, every single word my son spoke mattered—it was a stepping stone to greater communication.
Social Interaction Difficulties
Social interaction is another area where many children with autism face challenges. They may struggle with making friends, respecting personal boundaries, or understanding social norms. In Elijah’s case, he often preferred parallel play—playing alongside other children without directly interacting with them. Sharing toys was another difficulty, though this is common among neurotypical children as well.
At social events, we sometimes noticed that Elijah seemed less interactive compared to his peers. Other children in his class were more vocal and engaged, which could make Elijah appear to be on the lower end of the spectrum. But over time, we learned a vital lesson: comparisons are unhelpful. Elijah is unique, learning and growing at his own pace, and that’s perfectly okay.
By working with Elijah consistently, we saw improvements in his ability to navigate social situations. Today, his social interactions have improved drastically. While he still approaches socializing in his own way, we celebrate every step forward, knowing it represents progress on his terms.
Sensory Sensitivities
Many children with autism have sensory sensitivities that can range from being overly sensitive to certain sounds, textures, or lights, to under-sensitivity, where they might not respond to certain stimuli at all. This sensory overload can be overwhelming and lead to meltdowns, anxiety, or difficulties with self-regulation. As parents, it’s crucial to be mindful of these sensory needs and create an environment that helps the child feel comfortable and safe.
For us, one of the ongoing challenges has been helping Elijah adjust to different textures. His sensitivity to certain sensations, like the feel of certain fabrics or foods, has been particularly difficult to manage. We’ve worked closely with an occupational therapist to help him become more accustomed to these textures, but it’s still a challenge we continue to face today.
A particularly difficult aspect of this has been Elijah’s feeding issues. Because of his texture sensitivities, he struggled with eating solid foods. At one point, he refused to eat anything at all, and we had to rely on liquids for all his nutrition. This was a stressful time for us, but we were fortunate to have access to a feeding program at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), which helped Elijah begin the process of introducing food textures in a gradual, manageable way. After completing the program, Elijah was able to start eating pureed foods, which felt like a huge victory for us. Though the journey is ongoing, every small step forward is a testament to his growth and resilience.
Autism Speaks has a wide variety of resources listed on its Parent page, such as articles, tool kits, books, events, and more, for parents and caregivers of children with autism. They also have resources if you have autism and would like to look up information that can help you become part of a supportive community.
How Parents and Caregivers Can Support Children with Autism
Raising a Child with Autism: Strategies for Success
Children with autism often thrive in structured environments. Having clear routines, predictable schedules, and visual cues can bring a sense of stability that reduces anxiety. Knowing what to expect throughout the day can help ease transitions and make daily life feel more manageable. For example, establishing a consistent schedule for meals, schoolwork, and bedtime can offer much-needed structure. I remember how important it was for Elijah to have his routine with my husband before he left for work.
Each morning, my husband would say, “Daddy has to go to work,” followed by, “Give daddy a high five,” “Daddy needs a hug,” and “Daddy needs his kiss,” tickling him as he kissed Elijah’s neck. This routine was a ritual they repeated every day. If my husband missed it for some reason, or if Elijah was asleep when it was time, the day wouldn’t go smoothly. We’d often see meltdowns because the routine was disrupted. For Elijah, these small, consistent actions created the comfort and security he needed to navigate his day.
Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement works wonders for children with autism—just as it does for neurotypical children. It’s about reinforcing the behaviors we want to see more of, rather than focusing on what we want to eliminate. Praise, rewards, and encouragement can all be powerful tools in helping children develop new skills.
For example, we would use Elijah’s love for letters and creating order to motivate him. To encourage him to complete a task, we’d set up a simple reward system: “First, clean up your toys, then you can play outside,” or “Eat your food, then you can have your letters.” This technique helped him connect completing a non-preferred task (like cleaning up a mess) with a preferred activity (playing with his letters). Most of the time, it was a successful way to get Elijah to work through tasks he didn’t always want to do.
Encourage Social Skills Development
Though socializing can be difficult for children with autism, it’s essential to encourage and model social skills in ways that are comfortable and natural for them. This could involve practicing eye contact, learning how to initiate or join conversations, and teaching sharing and turn-taking during playtime. Social stories and role-playing are also great ways to prepare children for real-life social situations. For Elijah, we make social interaction a priority. My husband and I deliberately set up play dates and activities where Elijah can interact with others, especially our grandson, who’s a great influence on him. Through these moments, Elijah is gradually learning how to navigate social situations with more confidence and ease.
Foster Sensory-Friendly Spaces
One of the most important things we can do to support a child with autism is to be mindful of their sensory needs. Many children experience heightened sensitivity to certain sounds, lights, or textures, while others might be under-sensitive and not respond to stimuli in the same way. To help manage this, it’s crucial to create sensory-friendly spaces where children can retreat if they become overwhelmed. For example, Elijah sometimes needs a quiet corner or a soft, dimly lit room to decompress when the world feels too intense. Sensory tools like weighted blankets, noise-canceling headphones, or fidget toys can also make a big difference in helping children manage their sensory sensitivities and regain a sense of calm. By understanding and adapting to Elijah’s sensory needs, we’ve been able to create a more comfortable and supportive environment for him at home.
Therapies and Interventions: Finding the Right Support
Over the years, we’ve worked thoroughly to build a comprehensive support system for Elijah, which has included various therapies customized to his unique needs. While there are many therapies available for children with autism, the ones listed below have made a significant difference in Elijah’s development.
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)
ABA is one of those therapies either a parent will love or they will hate it. Before starting this therapy, I did a lot of research on the strategies used, and I went in with an open mind. Sometimes with it comes to different resources available, you can read the reviews, but you sometimes have to experience things for yourself and come up with your thoughts based on your experience. My experience with ABA has been positive, and Elijah was able to accomplish a lot through this therapy. ABA reinforces positive behaviors while reducing harmful ones through structured, goal-oriented teaching methods. The beauty of ABA lies in its flexibility—it can be adapted to suit each child’s individual needs, helping them acquire essential life skills and improve communication. For Elijah, ABA has been instrumental in fostering positive behaviors and teaching him how to respond to various social and environmental cues.
Speech and Language Therapy
Speech therapy is another intervention for children with autism, which focuses on improving both verbal and non-verbal communication. While not every child with autism struggles with speech, many benefit from therapies aimed at enhancing their ability to express themselves and understand others. For Elijah, speech therapy helped him refine his articulation, expand his vocabulary, and improve his sentence structure. Beyond that, it also addressed his social communication skills—helping him better navigate everyday interactions and understand conversational cues.
Occupational Therapy (OT)
One of Elijah’s struggles to this day is with his ability to touch and interact with textures. Occupational therapy has helped him to tolerate certain textures, but we’re still currently working with Elijah to help him accept more textures, especially concerning foods. Through OT, he has learned how to improve his hand-eye coordination, manage some sensory sensitivities, and perform everyday tasks like dressing himself and eating pureed foods independently. This therapy has been a game-changer in helping Elijah build the foundational skills needed for greater independence. His OT therapist was truly one of the best therapists he had, and she made the most progress with Elijah.
Social Skills Training
When Elijah was younger, we focused on social skills training, a therapy that continued to evolve as he grew. This intervention is specifically designed to help children with autism learn how to interact appropriately with their peers and adults. Through role-playing, group activities, and social stories, children develop a better understanding of social norms, how to read social cues, and how to initiate and maintain conversations. Social skills training has been particularly valuable for Elijah, as it’s helped him grow more confident in social situations—whether it’s at school, during playdates, or in public settings.
How to Support a Child with Autism: Tips for Parents and Caregivers
Unique Perspectives and Talents
If there’s only one thing you take away from this post, let it be this: never compare children with autism to one another. I learned this lesson the hard way. In the early days, I often found myself comparing Elijah to other children on the spectrum, and when he couldn’t do what they could, I felt defeated and hopeless. Over time, I came to realize something incredibly important: Elijah is Elijah, and he progresses at his own pace, in his way. Each child with autism has a unique way of experiencing the world, and many have incredible strengths that might not always be immediately obvious. For Elijah, it was his love for letters and numbers from an early age. For others, it might be a special talent in math, art, or memory. What we must remember is that these strengths should be celebrated. They can help build self-esteem and a sense of pride. Instead of focusing on a child’s challenges, we should highlight their abilities, encourage their passions, and give them the space to grow. By nurturing these gifts, we empower them to see themselves as capable and strong, shaping their self-worth in a positive direction.
Building Independence and Self-Advocacy
As children grow, we must support their journey toward independence and self-advocacy. This means teaching them to express their needs, make choices, and take responsibility for their actions. I’ll admit, I struggled with this at first. In the beginning, I did so much for Elijah, often out of a belief that because of his autism, he couldn’t do things for himself. I now realize how wrong I was. People would gently remind me, “He can do that himself,” but I’d brush it off, convinced that Elijah was unable to. One powerful moment stuck with me: Elijah had to undergo feeding therapy at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), and during the program, his therapist assured me that Elijah was capable of feeding himself. But at home, he would refuse to do it. Then, one evening after work, I came home to find Elijah sitting at the table, feeding himself. I was in awe. That was the moment I realized he had been playing me the whole time. From that day forward, I started encouraging Elijah to do more things for himself, from putting on his shoes to zipping up his jacket and picking out his clothes. Over time, I’ve learned to step back and only assist with the tasks that Elijah truly can’t manage on his own. Today, I focus on building Elijah’s confidence by promoting his independence. With the right support, children with autism can find their way in the world—on their own terms. It’s an empowering experience, and it’s one I’ll continue to nurture in him for as long as I can.
Closing Thoughts and Moving Forward
Supporting a child with autism is a journey—one filled with challenges but also immense growth and reward. As parents and caregivers, our goal is to create an environment that celebrates each child’s individuality, nurtures their strengths, and helps them overcome obstacles at their own pace. With patience, love, and the right support systems, children with autism can thrive and lead fulfilling, meaningful lives. If you’re currently navigating this path, remember: that you’re not alone, and every small step is a victory. Let’s continue to share, support, and celebrate the progress of our children with autism. Additional resources and information are available at the National Autism Center (NAC).
For other parents and caregivers out there, I encourage you to trust your instincts, celebrate the milestones (big and small), and never stop learning about autism. With the right tools and support, children with autism can achieve great things and live rich, fulfilling lives.
Please share your own experiences or strategies in the comments below. How do you support the child in your life with autism? Let’s continue the conversation and learn from each other.
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